Terrifying Decision

Rob and I have been faced this year with a terrifying decision to make. Well, it's not so terrifying for him, just me. Jourdyn since 1st grade has always gone to a private Christian school. Tuition has always made our financial life tight, except when I was working, which I haven't for four years. But God has always been faithful to provide for us.

This year Rob and I really have prayed about what to do with Jourdyn in the upcoming year. She is entering 6th grade, middle school (yikes!). Gas prices are sky-rocketing and at $4.00 per gallon we would be paying $10 per day to take her to school, 186 days a year, not including extra trips for activities and that's on top of tuition. It's really just not feasible. We have prayed and prayed for a miracle. You know, some rich unknown person dying and leaving us big bucks, or winning the lottery even though I don't play, I don't know just a miracle that would allow us to keep her where she is.

But it has become more abundantly clear to us that God is asking us to take a leap of faith and trust him. This is the scariest leap I've had to make. It's terrifying. This is one concerns the future of my girl that I want so much for. This could take her places that could change her life for the worse. Jourdyn is a reader. She reads constantly and I can't imagine what doors will be opened to her once she enters the library at her new school. I don't want her to be in a school where she can't go to her teachers and pray with them about her concerns or whatever. I want her to know that her teachers are praying for her daily. I want to know that she is in a place where she can freely talk about God and learn about God, not in a place that she is told that she came from a monkey.

I'm sitting here balling my eyes out. I am terrified. Do I think she'll be okay in the long run? Yes. Do I think that she's a good girl and will be smart enough to stay out of trouble? to make wise choices? Yes! I do. I just am scared to death that we aren't making the right decision. It comes down to I have to trust God with this. So here are a couple of Bible verses that I am writing out and carrying with me so that when I worry I can read them and remind myself that God is in control and He is watching over this whole thing. (and don't say anything to her yet - we haven't talked to her about it - I have to be able to do it without crying!)

I will instruct you and teach you

in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalm 32:8

Do not be afraid, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you.

I will help you.

I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10