That's the question I have been pondering lately and today I believe I have begun to answer it. And sadly, it's on the spiteful side.
It's amazing how someone can choose to walk away from let's say a "family" and do so in a very discouraging and outright questionable way. And yet, continue to manipulate and control that "family" from the outside looking in through spreading lies, rumors, communicating manipulative messages in the disguise of prayer requests and today, sending Christmas cards through the "family" Christmas card exchange, as if they were still part of the "family" they chose to not only leave but also throw in the street and run over as the exit was made . As if to say, don't forget about me, the person you forced out - when the truth is - no one was forced anywhere, it was a choice on this family members part to walk away and to do it with no class at all.
It is quite disheartening to realize that so much hatred, manipulation and spite exists in a once cherished "family" member. It's as if throwing salt on a wound some how amuses them or knowing that even though they have left the "family" they still maintain some type of control over it.
I know someone who was thankfully separated from a controlling, emotionally and physically abusive man and that separation was a God-send. However, that man for many years exerted control over this friend, through sending cards and notes. Through checking up on the friend through people that she knows.
I see what's going on in the first scenario of the "family" as very similar to what my friend went through. It's heartbreaking to watch it and I'm left really with no course of action to stop it. And I'm frustrated that the "family" isn't doing anything to stop it, to tell this previous "family" member to walk away, he/she made their choice, live with it and move on. Because all they are doing is tearing down the "family." They are being spiteful, manipulative. Every action that is taken is not out of ignorance, it is well though out and planned. It is executed with great care and worded with even greater expectancy for what their actions will do to the "family," what reactions they will evoke.
Please pray for this situation. It is extremely discouraging to watch this go on.
Without Holiness…
12 hours ago
4 comments:
If this is about a quote "family" member I am assuming it is a church member. One of the reasons I dont go to church is I find that by and large most people go for false reasons. In theory they should be going to learn more about Christ and fellowship(which is secondary to learning). But in reality it is no different then any club or human endeavor. In many cases it is just a way for people to distinguish or label themselves to their pre existing self image. For example, I go three nights a week therefore I am on a higher spiritual path than you. Or I speak in tongues because I am more godly then you. Or it might be just some simple humanistic need to show off there "worthiness." For the most part I deal with the worst of society but they in some ways are more straighforward. I am not saying everyone is that way but human nature tends to make us classify ourselves and most people dont want to look in the mirror. God's message is very simple we tend to complicate it by turning it into something I dont think he would recognize.
Sharon I wish I could even begin to articulate a response to what you have said. I know how hard it is on you. If the “Family” is the one I am thinking about… I don’t even know where to begin. I wrote in my own blog that the events as of late have caused me to question why I trusted people in the first place. I wonder if anything I’ve ever done has mattered. That being said, manipulation is a tough thing. It’s hard to understand and even harder to stop and harder yet to undo. I wonder how long this manipulation has gone on. The thing is we are so eager to trust family members; we look past things that we otherwise would say “HEY WAIT A SECOND”. It sucks that this family member can’t leave well enough alone and won’t stop causing damage, before there are any further casualties. I wish I had a non-violent solution but I'm not sure there is one.
Read the Corinthians, Wphesians and Galations. We all behave inappropriately when hurt. I imagine this person is hurting and wants to hurt others. Many situations put us out of control and as a wife especially when the husband's walk effects the wife's or vice versa. We must pray for this person to find the peace that God wants for them and to not hurt others. It is not always easy to walk away when you have invested time and love into people, yet we must determine if we are hurting the spitiual growth of others through our actions. We must learn to react in love as Christ.
Prating continually for all involved.
Agree w/ everyone here & will be praying, sis! Remember, you are loved, no matter what!
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