Another Episode

Since our hospital visit with Rowan, I have called and made an appointment to talk to our primary care about sleep apnea. It's for the 13th. When we were in the hospital the alarms went off three times, however, they were short instances by the time the nurse came in he was breathing again. This is what we have suspect happens on most nights. However, there are those occassional nights that his breathing stops for a much longer period of time. And last night was one of those.

At some point after 2 am, he came into our bedroom screaming and very upset. So he came into bed with us and went to sleep with us. Sometime after that, I rolled over and he just felt weird. I can't explain it. This time he wasn't ice cold, he just felt weird. So I reached up to his face to feel if he was expelling air through his nose and nothing...his face felt kinda rubbery. Again, I don't know how to explain it. Rob was there so I yelled "he's not breathing." I lifted him and he was completely limp, he really felt like putty in my hands. Any other time if he was just sleeping he would fight back, his body would respond to being lifted. But he didn't. It was quite evident that he was not breathing. He wasn't holding his head at all, it just dangled there. Rob turned the light on. He wasn't blue, he wasn't cold, just completely limp and not breathing. I blew in his face and shook him a bit, pleaded with God to let him start breathing, opened his mouth and he started breathing. He opened his eyes. He was startled a bit, but not fully awake...and then he said, "I want to lay back down." He curled up in my arms and snuggled. And was back out within a minute.

It makes for a long night for me. I don't sleep soundly anyways. Ever since having children, I have a built in mechanism that keeps me from ever getting real sleep. It's like super-sensitive sonar, I hear every little noise and feel every little movement or lack of movement. This is why I have been fortunate enough to wake up when Rowan does this. However, it seems to be magnified when this does happen because I am then not sleeping at all and instead watching and worrying about my boy.