Outside Fun

Well, as you already know, I worked Friday night and all day Saturday, the two beautiful days that we had. So Rob got to stay home with the kids and have all the fun! On Saturday, the little ones played in the backyard all day. Daddy was such a good daddy! He even remembered to take pictures!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

As for myself, the last few weeks have been some of the most discouraging weeks in my life. It is not my faith that is discouraged. I know God has a plan and I trust it. It is my heart being discouraged by circumstances, by people, by actions, or lack there of. It is not understanding. It is the realization that many that I thought surrounded me with encouragement and were here to help me - simply aren't. It's the reality that I with all my being don't want to care, but I do. That it shouldn't matter what others do, but it does.

I probably right now feel much like Paul did as he wrote to Timothy. Alone, deserted, unsupported, yet able to say "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth." (2 Tim. 4:17)

I don't know there is part of me that senses that perhaps this is God's release for me to move on. No matter what, I know that He is faithful and that He is preparing my heart for something big. I just wish that it wasn't so hard. I'm tempted to get angry. I am definitely frustrated. But mostly I am just hurt and feel so defeated. Pray for me. Pray that God gives me the peace I need to fully rely on Him.