On being a woman pastor...

Like many, you might be thinking that those two words: woman and pastor are oxymorons. Two words that just do not go together. The only place a woman belongs in ministry is with the children or maybe over women. You know, there is a passage in the Bible that say women cannot be spiritual leaders (I Timothy 2) or that they should remain silent and in submission (I Corinthians 14:34-35). And indeed those verses do say such things, but those verses do not reflect the overall message of women in the Bible.

I have thankfully had an immediate family that has been for the most part supportive of my calling to full-time pastoral ministry despite the fact that they belong to a denomination that holds a narrowminded view of who women are in Christ. It's the denomination that I was raised in and yet from the youngest age can remember a longing in my heart to serve others, to be in ministry.

I ran from my calling for years. I disobeyed God. I bought into the line that I am a woman and I can't do what I know God to be asking me to do. I convinced myself that something was wrong with me. I had some kind of power issues or domination issues rooted in who knows what. Something was just wrong, it couldn't really be God asking me to do these things because God doesn't ask women to do these things. God asks women to serve in the nursery. And believe me I tried that, but there I was still restlessness, knowing that there had to be something more.

I finally sat down and talked with God. I finally gave him the wheel and said "God, I don't know where you are taking me, but I know you are the only guide worth following! And I'm here, what do you want me to do?" At this time I was in the church I currently attend, which has since its inception allowed women in ministry. (However, still has its gender barriers within certain geographical locations, ours included) God led me to understand that he is calling me to pastoral ministry. So I listened and I began schooling still not knowing where God was taking me, still believing it was the dumbest thing I've probably heard because women aren't supposed to be preachers, but hey I could be an administrative pastor. I could be a pastor to women (if I could find a church with that kind of budget!) I had know clue where God was taking me just a light and a path to follow.

That path so far hasn't been easy. I haven't had the encouragement that I know my male counterparts have received. I haven't been invited to speak, let alone preach and not even to pray until just the past couple of weeks. I've been teased and harassed. I've been condemned and admonished for my thinking that I, a woman, could be a pastor of anything. It has been a rough road. And many times I have wanted to quit and in those moments, when I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I don't know what I supposed to be doing or where I'm going to do it or even how barriers will be torn down so that I can be what I am called to be. It is those moments that God speaks to me and lights the next stepping stone of my path.

Today, His voice and lantern came in the form of an article, an article that I have been praying for for quite some time! Months ago, I ordered a new magazine, MinistryToday. Yesterday, the first issue finally arrived. Today, I had a few moments to sit down and browse. I was impressed within the first few articles concerned that no article was written by a woman, that none focused or mentioned women in ministry, but I continued because the content otherwise was great. And then I came to page 50...ah...page 50. On page 50, bold and big were the words "Breaking Up The Good Old Boys' Club." Read the article. It's a must read and the link is there.

On page 50, I found God's light today. I found encouragement at time that I needed it the most. I found confirmation of my call when I felt myself slipping back to "you're a woman and you can't do that" attitude. I found the answer to my prayer, a man who not only understands my call but has a ministry that lifts up women to the place where Jesus placed them and gives them wings to obey God and take flight on His journey.

God is doing something BIG in my life. I know it to my very core that I am preparing myself to do what I am supposed to be doing. I am woman and I am called by God to a pastor.