I need you like a...

Back at the beginning of the year, I wrote about my need to recognize open and closed doors and to be willing to accept what they are. 

What I've been doing for several years is realizing that I need to make a change.  I'm good at knowing that something needs to change. What I'm not good at is trusting God for that change.  There has been progression though.  At first, when I knew this change needed to happen, I talked myself into all the reasons I couldn't or wouldn't make that change and I didn't make it.  Then I moved up to "Okay, I know the change needs to happen, but I can't just do it, I need to have a new plan." And I stayed in the comfort zone and made what right now look like the wrong plans as a way of escape. 

The sad part is that when I avoid this change I end up right back at this place of complete craziness.  Well, just crushed.  So now I'm praying that God would give me the strength and courage to just make the change with no 'back-up' plan or no safety-net...but to just trust Him. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring or next week or next year, but just getting back to focusing on Him and Him alone and allowing Him to work...to give Him control.

This is a hard thing for me...very hard.  I'm quite terrified.  So these songs have become my prayers over the past month or so...the first is about God tearing down my pride and fear...the second about Him just wrapping me in His loving arms and bringing me to the point of complete trust in Him...