O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E

Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.

WOW! That's an oldie but goodie song! You know, when I began this journey about three years ago, I really wasn't sure where God was taking me. I just knew that he had a plan and I needed to follow. The same is true when I started working on my Master's and my licensure. He opened doors and was making the way for me to be where He wanted me to be, doing what He wanted me to do.

I've applied for so many jobs in the past 6 months are so, in any field and I think every field. Just looking for anything. And when there was no response, it was so easy for me to say "well, that just shows me that that is not where God wants me! If He wanted me there He would open the door and I would be there!" That's really great faith and I know it to be true.

But here's the question that I have found myself with. I'm not finding Associate positions, and if I do find them they are for Children's pastor or worship pastor. So following my logic thus far....God knows what He's doing. He has a plan. I have to obey and follow. And if the positions aren't there, it's not what He wants me to be doing???? Not so much. At least I don't know!

He set me on a course that would prepare me to be an elder, not just an elder but a lead pastor, a pastor of my own congregation. I didn't know this at the time because I didn't have anyone to really explain the process to me. But my heart at the time knew this is exactly where he wanted me and I still know that today. I'm gripped with a fear. A fear that God didn't get something right. That He's got this one all wrong. That I couldn't possibly do that.

This fear isn't new. I've had it for a long time. So for the past two years, I've said "Well, I could be a lead pastor, my education would afford it, but really I just want to be an associate pastor somewhere." This is fear speaking. Fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. Fear of rejection. Fear of my past interfering with my future in so many ways. Just fear.

Well, it's coming down to the wire, and I'm wrestling with all of this, all the while knowing that God doesn't make mistakes. He is faithful. He knows what He's doing. So I'm praying that God will give me the courage to do whatever it is that He asks, even if I don't know the outcome. I'm praying that I'll remember that He is in control and He alone can work out all the details.

And I'm left at that old song...O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E, Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe...Obedience is the very best way to show that I believe. So I'll be obedient to whatever it is He's doing inside of me, inspite of the fear that hides within.